I had not been out of the United States Navy for even four months when a retired Air Force colonel co-worker entered my new office at Oklahoma State University with a direct order. That “order” was for me to wholeheartedly champion some random thought that had emerged out of his own personal “wild blue yonder” that required some serious work hours expended by anyone but himself.
Completely unknown to the colonel, his biggest offense was daring to officiously enter my office without offering me a steaming cup of coffee made to my liking. That is actually why we got off on such a bad foot right away, and me already having a bad day did not enhance the equation at all.
I didn’t work for him, and he had only a tenuous connection with my group, so I responded that he was “crazy” if he thought I was going to add his “good idea” to my assigned workload. I was already immersed in my first graduate year in engineering and also working a full-time job for the University, as well as taking care of my young family. He instantly replied with great offense that in the future I was to have respect for him because he was a retired senior officer in the US Military, and I had just recently departed the armed services as a mere mustang junior officer. To which I replied, “In the real world, respect is earned, not worn on the collar,” thus compounding the offense.
The end result of that first meeting was that no coffee for Dennis was to be forthcoming from the colonel any time soon.
In the end, we wound up becoming friends over the years of my graduate program. He eventually confessed that he “admired my grit,” and I confessed – over many cups of coffee shared in the Student Union – that I was truly impressed by his military bearing and service record. After we developed our rather unique friendship, I came to realize that it was my very first occasion of running headlong into the Geezer Paradox.
To make things far more interesting, after my time in graduate school and some stints as a civilian nuclear engineer for the Navy, I eventually moved to Florida, the Geezer Capitol of the universe.
So now I see the Geezer Paradox expressing itself everywhere all the time, and have been dealing with it for the past 45 years. Having carried my own retirement card for almost a full decade now, I have to be very careful when throwing labels around because many of them come back and stick to me – permanently – like this one!
Because, beloved, I do whatever I can do to be an authentic enthusiast and eager participant in the Geezer Paradox!
So, what exactly is the Geezer Paradox? It is this:
You wake up in your senior years and discover that you care progressively less about being “cool” – which, ironically, is the only true way to actually become “cool,” as is recognized immediately by a special subspecies of humans called grandchildren.
The big reveal was that “coolness” was never about what others thought about you, but what you thought about yourself deep down inside. That is because that sense of self invariably leaks outside into that “real world”. Thus, what you truly are is what others see and respond to, not what or who you may or may not think you are – especially as a younger person trying to figure all this out.
Sometimes we call this “coolness,” but God calls it “humility.” In scriptural terms, it is described like this: “He (Jesus) must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30) In more basic terms, the Geezer Paradox is totally fulfilled in the verse, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)
The Geezer Paradox is the wake-up call of hard-won maturity whose oblations are paid not always in cash, but in years and decades of learning. It is being schooled that life was never about our coolness, but always about God’s innate Awesomeness indwelling us, expecting that, in obedience, we will sacrificially take care of His sheep, just as He has commanded. Once this is learned and lived as a primary philosophy of life, then authentic coolness is worn and clearly seen by everyone. And thus it becomes a spiritual state of being awarded by the Great Captain of the Lord’s Army, the only One with the authority to confer the honor.
How do I actually feel about finally learning this hard-won lesson? I experience its awesome power most profoundly each time I look into the eyes of my precious grandchildren. Was this little paradox worth the struggle to finally understand? Absolutely!
I have also discovered that it is the only way to have an admiral, general, or colonel actually bring you a cup of hot coffee made to your liking. True stories all! Why would a respected retired senior military officer do that for a mere former US Navy mustang junior officer? Because they really knew for sure that I loved them – and I did not even have to say it aloud. They just knew. It is the amazing power of the Holy One Who indwells me – and the Geezer Paradox in action!
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PS. Thank you, Brigadier General Chevalier James F. Reed III, who modeled this humble brotherly love not just once, but twice, with cups of hot coffee made just to my liking! This is just one reason, sir, why you truly are and will always remain my hero!